Dd1 is off to a music festival tomorrow. With most of her school year and half the year below as well. They are camping on site. and she won’t be back home till Monday late afternoon/evening. The line-up has her practically bouncing with delight and the weather forecast is good. It is the last chance all of her best friends will have together before they go their separate ways and I am praying it brings her joy and memories to look back on for a lifetime.
I am trying so hard to be chilled about it. Last year a young man died at the festival after taking a “legal high”. Supposing she gets offered something, she will say no won’t she? There are always some idiots who get rip-roaring drunk and cause mayhem, and I don’t want her being in the way of any of them (she’s physically quite small). And as she is still just 17 herself I have extracted a promise from her that she won’t drink alcohol. I think I can trust her. She knows if she’s caught and ID’d she could be evicted and lose the weekend so I am hopeful. But, in any case, I need to learn to let go of her. She has now finished school forever (where did the time go?) and in the autumn she will be off to university in either Glasgow or Edinburgh so approximately 200 miles away – not round the corner, and my little girl will be an adult and all grown up.
The first time she went away for a weekend with the scouts I remember feeling almost physically sick with worry. This was admittedly my problem, and nothing to do with the scouts or the leaders – just pure parental panic – and over the years she has become increasingly more independent, going away with school and scouts for ever longer periods of time. This is a Good Thing. If we are doing our job right as parents then our children should grow in confidence and learn to cope without us. This is how they learn to fly, metaphorically. I know in my head this is how it should be.
So why does my heart hurt so damn much?