Yesterday was hospital appointment day.
Naively I thought we would be getting the results of M’s 48 heart monitor that happened back in July. I had assumed that there was nothing nasty to worry about or else the hospital would have called me, but as it turned out, the doctor said although both he and the main paediatrician had both looked at the trace and seen nothing out of the ordinary, they are waiting on the final results from the experts who analyse the trace. So, I guess I can try and relax as there is nothing obvious to be concerned about.
However, this means (probably) that her heart is racing so often due to extreme anxiety. M appears to have been born anxious, and it is certainly as much a part of her autism as her sensory issues. Unlike loud noises that can be muffled with ear defenders there is no magic cure for anxiety. I certainly don’t want to start a 7 year old on medication. Most of her anxiety is being parted from me, which is why school is so difficult – she has told me outright that she would be happy if I could go too – so unless I give up the chance of any time alone and home educate, this is going to be an on-going problem. Even sleeping in her own bed makes her sleep more lightly than if she is curled up next to me, but after 3 and a half years we finally got her into her own bed and I’m afraid I am not taking a backwards slide on that one!
So, not much of a post from me today but it wasn’t all bad/indifferent news yesterday. After the appointment we went into the centre of town for lunch and some shopping. I took M’s buggy (a MacLaren Major) with us and usually she will only leave it to run around ELC for ten minutes. She wouldn’t come out of it to eat her lunch in the food court BUT she did ask several times to get out and wandered around a few shops that she is, I presume, getting used to after repeated visits. In Waterstones I almost lost her (panic stations) but she was re-enacting a book with her brother and sister. It was quite out of character for her, especially with a lot of people around due to the school holidays, but a very positive thing to happen.
Hoping someone will have some bright ideas about helping with the anxiety but I shall wait for the final report from the hospital before starting to think about the next stage.