It’s the Little Things that Trip Us Up

24 Oct

Today is the third day back to school after a fortnight half term break.

Days 1 and 2 weren’t too bad. M was calm enough, i.e. no screaming and ranting at full volume and nothing being thrown or punched.

The same cannot be said for this morning. Poor B, her brother, got the sharp end of her tongue full blast for the best part of an hour (sadly he is still not learning to ignore her) and I was treading on eggshells throughout the morning routine.  It is so tempting just to think “sod it, she can have a day off school for once” and to know that she would instantly relax, but it would leave the same problems for tomorrow, plus give her a mixed message about school which I can’t afford to do. So, we soldier on.

In the midst of the rant came some words about part of her visual timetable and it seems that the visual might not be matching what is actually happening. It’s a fixed part of her day, when the PSA (pupil support assistant or 1 to1) goes for her 15 minute break and M goes into the main classroom for that time. She generally has no problem with the classroom (she has her own table) but the visual must match what she is expected to do – you can’t use a generic picture and assume she will be happy if she is asked to do something else.

We got to school a few minutes after the bell – which I hate as I then feel I need to apologise to B’s teacher –  and I had a quick word with M’s teacher. She will discuss with the PSA exactly what visuals they will use in future. They are both lovely people and really do have M’s best interests at heart BUT, and it is a fact, they don’t live with her and they just do not see the impact that something so small can have on her, and by default, the rest of us. I got back to the house absolutely wrung out after an hour and half of trying to defuse a situation that I didn’t understand until the explosion had happened. B must be starting his school day in a state of disquiet, and goodness only knows what sort of impact it will have on M. For all I know this situation with the visuals could have been brewing for several weeks. Her processing is super fast, but her emotional understanding is such that the time between initially getting upset and exploding could be literally any time you care to mention. And I don’t even want to think about how long it might take for her to stop feeling anxious about this.

So, I have started my day with a battle, M has too, and B has been caught in the crossfire. 

Let’s hope by home time the tsunami has washed away and the waves are calmly lapping on the shore again. Thanks for reading.


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