It’s not been a great January so far. The weather has meant two separate days when we’ve woken up to an announcement of no school, and that has played havoc with M’s routine. She has a new class teacher and a new head teacher, both of whom she seems to actively like, but the ripples from the pebbles that have been thrown in her emotional pond have been far-reaching.
The instances of shouting, screaming and hitting out have increased substantially – and bearing in mind December and the run-up to Christmas were no picnic – this is not insignificant. M has resorted to baby talk, increased use of her dummy (soother) when at home, as well as her cuddly toys and sensory items like her weighted blanket and her fleece blankets. She is always clingy to me but this has also increased, to the point I sometimes I feel I am in danger of suffocating under the weight of her need for me.
I guess I didn’t help matters by “abandoning” her for an overnight stay in Glasgow when I drove E back to university on the day of my birthday. I had a fantastic weekend, including a cinema trip and some shopping time, as well as the pleasure of one to one time with my eldest child. I have been paying for it with heartfelt comments and tears ever since.
M’s termly review meeting was last week and it was a good chance to let the staff know just how bad things had been at home. There is a new SfL (Support for Learning) teacher who comes in once a week and seems to know her stuff; she suggested several ways to try and improve things for M, all of which we will be putting into practice. One of them includes re-connecting with SaLT and making M a visual timetable for her entire week, in colour, that she can keep with her in an aid to lessen anxiety, along with a plan to sign the whole school. As language is the first thing to disappear when M is overwrought, the idea is to bring even a small measure of comfort by giving her the most access to converse as they can, and of course it means that there is more of a level playing field for any other children who may struggle, now or in the future.
As well as M, we discussed B, her brother, who is struggling himself. He can’t seem to let go of the fact that fate has given him a sibling with autism and he needs to make allowances. He is quite an angry wee man and there are more plans in place now to help him deal with his emotions around all this.
Coupled with R’s increasing anxiety about his forthcoming pre-lims and some very real concerns about his twin’s health (more of that another time) this isn’t a month I shall be sorry to see the back of.
Not everything is bad news; I am enjoying escaping to write some more of my book, and have also been happily connecting with more writers on twitter and other social media, finding out that the peculiarities I have thought personal to me are perhaps more of a widespread curse on writers in general and maybe I’m not actually going totally mad.
And the days are finally getting longer! It is such a relief to look out of the window at 4 pm and to still see the beach.
Here’s a little picture of M on Christmas Day.