Regression

25 Jan

It’s not been a great January so far. The weather has meant two separate days when we’ve woken up to an announcement of no school, and that has played havoc with M’s routine. She has a new class teacher and a new head teacher, both of whom she seems to actively like, but the ripples from the pebbles that have been thrown in her emotional pond have been far-reaching.

The instances of shouting, screaming and hitting out have increased substantially – and bearing in mind December and the run-up to Christmas were no picnic – this is not insignificant. M has resorted to baby talk, increased use of her dummy (soother) when at home, as well as her cuddly toys and sensory items like her weighted blanket and her fleece blankets. She is always clingy to me but this has also increased, to the point I sometimes I feel I am in danger of suffocating under the weight of her need for me.

I guess I didn’t help matters by “abandoning” her for an overnight stay in Glasgow when I drove E back to university on the day of my birthday. I had a fantastic weekend, including a cinema trip and some shopping time, as well as the pleasure of one to one time with my eldest child. I have been paying for it with heartfelt comments and tears ever since.

M’s termly review meeting was last week and it was a good chance to let the staff know just how bad things had been at home. There is a new SfL (Support for Learning) teacher who comes in once a week and seems to know her stuff; she suggested several ways to try and improve things for M, all of which we will be putting into practice. One of them includes re-connecting with SaLT and making M a visual timetable for her entire week, in colour, that she can keep with her in an aid to lessen anxiety, along with a plan to sign the whole school. As language is the first thing to disappear when M is overwrought, the idea is to bring even a small measure of comfort by giving her the most access to converse as they can, and of course it means that there is more of a level playing field for any other children who may struggle, now or in the future.

As well as M, we discussed B, her brother, who is struggling himself. He can’t seem to let go of the fact that fate has given him a sibling with autism and he needs to make allowances. He is quite an angry wee man and there are more plans in place now to help him deal with his emotions around all this.

Coupled with R’s increasing anxiety about his forthcoming pre-lims and some very real concerns about his twin’s health (more of that another time) this isn’t a month I shall be sorry to see the back of.

Not everything is bad news; I am enjoying escaping to write some more of my book, and have also been happily connecting with more writers on twitter and other social media, finding out that the peculiarities I have thought personal to me are perhaps more of a widespread curse on writers in general and maybe I’m not actually going totally mad.

And the days are finally getting longer! It is such a relief to look out of the window at 4 pm and to still see the beach.

Here’s a little picture of M on Christmas Day.

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7 Responses to “Regression”

  1. aviets January 25, 2015 at 6:55 pm #

    It’s so hard to hold everything together as the main caregiver, but it sounds like you’re doing the best possible job of it. It’s great that you were able to get away for a bit, even though there were repurcussions on your return. Hang in there!

    • ouremuk66 January 27, 2015 at 1:45 pm #

      I needed that break, even for the one night. I’m hanging by a thread but I am hanging 🙂

  2. mummyshambles January 26, 2015 at 3:47 pm #

    Similar story here, as you know. Little man woke up later today and was in a good mood then it deteriorated very quickly. No work done and a lot of rolling about on the floor (and that’s just me lol) and ‘NO’s We just have to keep plodding on my dear. Loves you. xXx

    • ouremuk66 January 27, 2015 at 1:46 pm #

      It’s the screaming that tears at me, I can’t bear to think how she must be feeling as it rips me apart. It will get better. Loves you too x x

      • mummyshambles January 27, 2015 at 4:50 pm #

        I know…it’s so hard to see your kids struggling. 😦 xXx

  3. stellabranch January 26, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

    It’s hard enough for most kids to adjust to the changes in routine over the Chritmas period, so I can hardly imagine how hard it is to cope with a child who thrives on routine. I’m glad you had a little quality time with one of your other children. they all need that, so it must be hard on your son. No easy solutions, you seem to be coping very well.

    • ouremuk66 January 27, 2015 at 1:47 pm #

      That’s just it Stella, it impacts all of us, and there have been so many changes to deal with. I feel so sorry for all my kids as it’s hard sharing your mum even without any additional needs issues, but hopefully it will make them all loving and compassionate adults. x

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