It’s been a long – very long – time since my last post but so much has been going on, even though I’ve had plenty to say, I’ve had little time (or inclination) to write about it.
Long story short: in addition to Teen Boy and Small Girl being autistic, I now have a third diagnosed child – Small Boy. The whole process, from first discussing concerns with school to diagnosis, took a staggeringly fast four months, which goes some way to making up for the disasters that were the previous two times.
Coupled with that, and poor Small Boy’s horrendous autumn term so far, Teen Girl’s health has continued to be very poor, meaning that she is almost always in pain, exhausted, or swollen from whatever it is she is allergic to. The local hospital have run out of ideas so we’re now waiting for more specialist help at a hospital further away. In the mean time, her whole life is on hold, which is no way for a 17 year old to exist.
Small Boy is, we think, in the grip of an early hormone surge which is making his anger over small issues blow up out of all proportion. It’s like living with a hungry T-Rex most of the time, or as Small Girl says, “he has a volcano in his tummy and sometimes the lava goes everywhere.” She’s not wrong, and if he does get past the point of calming, the meltdowns are the worst I’ve ever seen. Bearing in mind I’ve had almost 18 years of parenting autistic children this is saying something.
School are being wonderful and have stepped up to provide as much support as they can, and right now neither one of the smalls has any pressure to do homework, which has taken after-school time to be a lot less stressful on us all.
Small Girl is not making a huge amount of progress on dealing with her anxiety, but she is really trying. Her CaMHS appointments come around every two or three weeks and the woman she sees is patient and very experienced. Right now, we are working on filling in a 5 point scale, so that SG can learn to recognise when her anxieties are building and try to self calm before she reaches meltdown.
One great calming technique is blowing bubbles. SG loves doing this anyway, and from my point of view, it’s cheap and easy to do just about anywhere. When she gets upset, the control needed to blow large bubbles automatically means her breathing will slow down, meaning she keeps calmer. Here she is blowing a huge bubble this morning:
She was engaged with her session this morning, and then ate her lunch in the car on the way back to school. She begged me to keep her off but she only had to make it through 90 minutes and I wasn’t going to be swayed by her big puppy-dog eyes, although I was very tempted. You can see for yourself just how cute she can be when she tries:
Almost the end of another school week, and hopefully it will be a good one with no meltdowns from anyone.